Have you ever felt like disconnecting from technology is next to impossible? It could be work emails, school notifications, your teen calling or texting you, or a steady stream of requests from other family members.
Teens are especially attached to their phones, and that makes sense. Phones are where their friendships, social media, music, and games all live.
At Davis-Smith Mental Health in New Lenox, IL, much of our work with teens centers on anxiety, and phones are part of nearly every teen’s day. Here’s why stepping away matters, plus seven practical ways to help your family do it.
Why Disconnecting From Technology Feels So Hard
Many apps are built to keep us scrolling. Notifications, endless feeds, and streaks that disappear if you miss a day pull all of us back in, adults included.
For teens, the pull is even stronger. Their phone is how they make plans, keep up with inside jokes, and feel included, so stepping away can feel like missing out on their whole social world.
That’s why lectures about screen time rarely work on their own. Teens are much more open to change when they feel understood and when the adults around them are making changes too.
The Downsides of Technology for Teens
The biggest problem with technology is how much time it quietly eats up. An hour of scrolling can replace sleep, homework, hobbies, time outside, and real conversations without anyone noticing.
Technology can also feed anxiety and peer pressure in new ways. Teens have the whole world in the palm of their hand, which many people would call both a blessing and a curse. A few common concerns:
- Posting without thinking it through. Teens don’t always know what’s okay to post and what should stay private, and once something is out there, it’s hard to take back.
- Chasing likes. Many teens post selfies hoping for likes and comments, and that instant feedback can start to shape how they feel about themselves.
- Constant comparison. Scrolling through everyone’s highlight reels can leave a teen feeling like they don’t measure up.
- Never really being off. Chats and notifications can keep a teen’s brain switched on long after the school day ends.
None of this makes phones the enemy. The American Psychological Association has a health advisory on social media use in adolescence that is worth reading.
Limits Work Better Than Taking the Phone Away
So, what can be done? Taking away your teen’s phone completely usually isn’t realistic, and it can cut them off from friends in a way that backfires. Setting limits and building better habits tends to work much better.
Think of it like teaching your teen to drive, where freedom grows as they show they can handle it. The tips below can help you promote safe technology use and make disconnecting from technology a normal part of each day.
Help Your Teen Think Before They Post
1. Keep Social Media Private
Encourage your teen to post only what they’d feel comfortable sharing in front of the entire school. Something like posting a dislike of a classmate can quickly turn into bullying and feed gossip.
2. Be Careful With Photos
A good rule of thumb is to share only photos they’d be comfortable having a parent, teacher, or pastor see. That means no nudity or revealing photos, crude language, or racial slurs, even in a private chat.
Encourage your teen to pause and think about why they want to post something, and whether it’s appropriate to share. A few quick questions can help:
- Would I be okay with this showing up on a screen at school tomorrow?
- Am I posting this to share something I love, or to get a reaction?
- Could this hurt or embarrass someone else?
Remind them that screenshots last forever. Once a photo or message is sent, they can’t control where it goes next.
Disconnecting From Technology at Night
3. Disconnect in the Evening
Many teens fall asleep with their phones right next to them, texting friends, posting updates, or scrolling timelines. Screen light, comparison posts, and anxiety can disrupt the natural sleep cycle, charging up their brains right when they should be winding down. Try having the whole family unplug at a set time, maybe an hour before bed, when phones go on the charger and the house shifts into quieter activities.
4. Keep Phones Out of Bedrooms
Calls, texts, notifications, and that glowing screen can create a constant sense of waiting for something to happen. A plain alarm clock solves the most common excuse, and the bedroom can become a place of rest, away from other people and the temptation of one more scroll. The Sleep Foundation has more on teens and sleep, and our post on why it’s crucial to collect electronics at night goes deeper on making this change at home.
Privacy Settings and Following Your Teen
5. Use Proper Privacy Settings
Encourage your teen to know who their friends and followers actually are, and to accept and send requests only to people they know in real life. Keeping accounts private means strangers can’t see their photos or personal details. It’s worth sitting down together to walk through the settings on each app, since they change often.
6. Follow Your Teen
It’s reasonable to make it part of the deal: your teen can have social media if they let you follow them, or if they share their login so you can check in when needed. Most teens won’t love this idea, and that’s okay.
Talk openly about why you’re doing it and how you’ll monitor. For example:
- “I’m not trying to read every message. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
- “I’ll check in now and then, and I won’t comment on your posts or embarrass you.”
- “As you show me you can handle it, I’ll check less often.”
Make Room for Phone-Free Fun
7. Do Other Activities Together
Have a phone-free dinner, a board game night, or another event that has nothing to do with screens. Disconnecting from technology is a lot easier when there’s something fun to do instead.
When your teen is out in public, it makes sense for them to have their phone for safety. Encourage them to keep it on silent or tucked in a bag or pocket so they can be in the moment with the people they’re with.
Let your teen help pick the activity, and be the first to set your own phone aside. Phone-free time sticks best when it feels like a treat.
Healthy Screen Habits or Something More?
Lots of teens love their phones, and that alone isn’t a problem. It’s worth a closer look when screen use seems to be covering up something harder, like anxiety, loneliness, or low mood.
| What you notice | Typical teen screen use | Worth a closer look |
|---|---|---|
| Mood when offline | A little grumpy when asked to put the phone away | Panicky, angry, or very upset whenever they are without it |
| Sleep | Up late on the occasional weekend | Regularly up late scrolling and exhausted the next day |
| Friendships | Texts friends and still sees them in person | Has mostly stopped spending time with people face to face |
| Self-image | Enjoys posting and sharing | Feels crushed by comparisons or a lack of likes |
| Online experiences | Mostly positive or neutral | Being bullied, pressured, or harassed online |
If you’re seeing several things in the right column, it may be time for extra support. Sometimes the phone is where a teen goes to avoid stress at school, feeling left out, or worry they don’t have words for yet.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can give your teen a place to look at what’s underneath the scrolling, like stress, loneliness, or worry. At Davis-Smith Mental Health, sessions with teens are relaxed and conversational, and we use approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help teens notice anxious thoughts and respond differently.
Our teen anxiety counseling helps teens understand what’s driving their worry, and our social anxiety counseling can help teens who feel most at ease behind a screen. You can also learn more about teen counseling in New Lenox.
You and Your Teen Can Create Healthy Habits
Using even a few of these tips can help ease your teen’s anxiety and build healthier technology habits for the whole family. Disconnecting from technology doesn’t have to happen all at once. Here’s a simple way to start:
- Sit down together and talk about what’s working with screens at home and what isn’t.
- Pick one or two changes to try first, like phone-free dinners or phones charging outside bedrooms.
- Write your plan down. The Family Media Plan from the American Academy of Pediatrics is a handy tool for this.
- Follow the same rules yourself, since teens notice right away when adults don’t.
- Check in after a couple of weeks and adjust what isn’t working.
New habits take time, so give yourself and your teen a couple of weeks to adjust. Be easy on yourselves, since change is hard and there will be slip-ups along the way.
Commit to the new boundaries, keep the conversation open, and celebrate the small wins. In time, you and your teen can build a healthier, more balanced way of living with technology.
Feel More Connected Offline
If screens, stress, or anxiety are causing tension at home, we’d be glad to talk with you. We see teens and families in person at our New Lenox office and through telehealth, as long as they’re physically in Illinois during each session.
Families come to us from Joliet, Frankfort, Mokena, Tinley Park, and across Will County. Call (815) 409-5940 or reach out online to schedule a first session.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Every therapist on our team works with anxiety. We will match you with the right therapist for you.
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Anxiety is the foundation of everything we do.
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EMDR helps clients process what talk therapy alone can’t reach.
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From children and teens to young adults and adults.
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- Initial assessment $200
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Insurance and rates
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We work with most major insurance plans and offer self-pay options. We believe quality mental health care should be accessible. Davis-Smith Mental Health is in-network with the following insurance providers.
We also offer self-pay options and can provide a Superbill for out-of-network benefits.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
If something told you to keep reading this far, trust that feeling. Whether it’s for yourself, your teen, or your young adult, the hardest part is deciding to start. We are here when you are ready.
there is courage in change ♥
